Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Isolation trumps medication?
I'm a 15-year-old who enrolled in college a little after I turned 13. About a year ago I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety and didn't really care (naturally). I've been on meds for a while now, all kinds - prozac, paxil, wellbutrin, but nothing seems to alleviate the intense isolation I feel from my clmates and people my age. People whose intellect I appreciate don't seem to feel comfortable talking to me. I've only been able to ever go 9 weeks without my age coming up in conversation with a clmate, and then it's over. I can't go on dates. Socializing with regular people my age is nigh impossible. Whenever I do find someone to hang out with, I feel like they have absolutely nothing in common with me, and condescend so bitterly that I end up losing their company too. Having with girls my own age seems disgusting because they just can't match me, and having with older girls is out of the question. Since all relationships generally require , a relationship is also out of the question. I feel like if I fail to socialize AND fail to live up to my academic expectations for myself, I have no reason to live (but I'm honestly not considering suicide; I just get very, very depressed).
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